A lot has happened since my last post, as can be expected. The directed scene went well. I was very pleased with the work I did, and the actors I worked with were superb: Megan Upchurch and Milton Lewis. I highly recommend working with them if you ever have the chance.
One major change in my life: I am again dropping one of my majors. Due to poor planning on my part, I won’t be able to complete the requirements for a B.S. in Computer Science. Sad, but I’m not bawling my eyes out. After my last course, systems programming, I have a few issues with the department here at the university. I’ll reserve my opinion in private.
I learned a little more about the people I interact with, people I thought were friends, people I’d like to be friends with, and a few who I’d like to get to know very much. I learned that despite how strong someone may seem most of the time, he or she may show you a vulnerable side when the pressure rises to high. I hate to see these people this. But I don’t know what I can do ease their pain.
Today’s Mother’s Day in the United States (possibly other territories, but I’m not an international blogger). My mom and dad are visiting family in Iowa. My grandma recently turned 90 so it’s this Mother’s Day celebration is a big deal. Unfortunately, because Maymester starts this week, I wasn’t able to go with them. There’s hopefully next year.
Speaking of next year, I’m officially a senior! One more year separating me between and the “real world”….I have no frackin idea what I’m going to do after I graduate…assuming I graduate. Only one of my grades has been posted so far. It’s an A (YAY!), but I’m not so hopeful about the rest. And besides that, I no longer know what the hell it is I want out of life. Acting is fun, and thought-provoking, but I don’t have the stomach to do it full time. I just feel there’s a lot of bitterness and hardship associated with the professional pursuit. The limelight looks better on my friends anyway. I’m thinking more along the lines of directing. I enjoyed directing the scene much more than I had anticipated. It feels right for my head space, too. I’m going to take a directing class in the fall, see if I like it.
I’ve been feeling down lately. It’s probably due to the end of the school year, but this happened last year too. It’s not as bad as last year, and there was a tragedy compounded on top of everything. Still, I don’t like it. Feeling down, that is.
I want to hang out more, but I don’t know how to get started. Calling people out of the blue feels awkward. Actually I’m just afraid that no one want to hang out with me.
OKAY, enough of being pessimistic. I have classes this week! Meisner and Stage Combat. From what I’ve heard about Meisner, there’s a lot of repetitious repetition in the exercises. And of course stage combat should be wicked awesome! I ordered my books for Kristin’s class online, but my order hasn’t been processed yet. If it isn’t done by tomorrow morning, I’ll have to just go the bookstore since I have reading assignment on the first day.